Blogging Success (aka BS)

Dawn & Drew Ferguson, CH, CI

Content here is soley the personal tongue in cheek opinions (& we all know about opinions, don't we) of Dawn & Drew Ferguson with some really witty and thought provoking stuff thrown in occasionally...

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HYPNOSIS AND ARTHRITIS

Below is an article that was posted a few years ago on a topic that is near to my heart. Many of you have asked us how or what made us get involved with hypnosis.

Part of my story involves my need to deal with this potentially crippling condition. I think that you may find this interesting on how simple it can be to unleash the power of our own minds to help us overcome obstacles.

Please do not misunderstand; I am not saying that hypnosis is the be all and end all. What I am saying is that we have all heard the heartwarming stories of people overcoming physical conditions like this, or worse. Doing this type of exercise illustrated in the article below along with conventional medical treatment can have a profound impact on the quality of life issues that some of us face.

A caveat; we advise you to never do anything that involves chronic pain without the involvement of your Medical Doctor. We will not see you for chronic pain without expressed permission from your M.D.

As always if we can help you facilitate these types of changes in your life, just reach out for us. success@fergusonhypnotherapy.com or 636-699-7791

Hypnosis and Arthritis

Posted by: "Seth-Deborah Roth" sethdroth@aol.com

Tue Sep 16, 2008 8:54 am (PDT)

Here is a wonderful study from the British Psychological Society that talks
about hypnotherapy helping to get rid of the pain from arthritis.

It says:

"Arthritis sufferers can alleviate their pain by using mental imagery
and hypnotherapy.

This is the finding of Bryan Bennett and colleagues from Bangor
University who presented their findings on the September 11, 2008, at
The British Psychological Society's Division of Health Psychology
Annual Conference held at the University of Bath."

Many people report high levels of pain even when taking prescription
medication. A growing number of chronic sufferers turn to
complementary and alternative medicines to lessen the main symptoms of pain and fatigue.

The effect of visualization techniques and hypnotherapy was studied to
see if they could help to reduce pain and fatigue, which affects these
people from being able to enjoy a full and active life.

"Forty two patients were asked to visualize their pain in different
ways and try to manage it. For example participants were asked to
visualize their pain in the form of a person and then thank that
person for letting them know something was not right. They would then
ask the person to leave, visualizing their image going further away,
until the image was hardly visible and eventually disappearing, leaving them free of pain.

The results showed that these imagery techniques, and hypnotherapy,
were effective at reducing the pain and fatigue caused by RA."

This week's article is actually an audio for you;

Discover What You Really Want and Fill the Void that Food Cannot

Click below to play the audio now or choose the download button to save to your compute and then listen

Snowing in May

Part of my morning walk goes through a heavily wooded park, filled with squirrels and rabbits scampering and the trees filled with songs from the numerous birds... As I was on the threshold of entering this otherworld I was greeted with an interesting sight. It looked as if it were snowing. The ground was covered with a light dusting and the air was filled-with Cottonwood seeds. I felt as though I had walked on to the set of a magical Disney movie where small fairy’s dressed in snow suits danced about. I felt a joy in being a part of this scene and committed this sight and sensation to memory.

I pay particular attention to the states of mind that help me reach peace, tranquility, happiness and love. For I never know when I may need to draw on these memories for strength. As an example; last night I was made aware that a family member is making poor choices in their life, choices that could lead to jail time. After finishing the phone call that brought me this news, I located my state of peacefulness immediately. I know that the decisions I may make while under duress aren’t always the best, so I find a center within myself that is grounded and stable.

How did I achieve this, by immediately going back to a time when I had experienced this strength before; a memory of Drew and I holding each other-when I knew that whatever the rest of life would bring me I would be ok because I had experienced true love. It only took a fraction of a second to bring that memory and accompanying emotional state back and I was already feeling more stable.

I sat for a bit, deciding what my boundaries were and how I would enforce them when I discovered I was now dealing with anger. I’ve tried my best to help this person yet they seem to keep screwing up. I then flashed to the many times when I’ve sat with my good friends (thank you Liz and Dee) ranting and raving about my anger. Anger at the person, the situation and my inability to do anything.

My friends would listen to me patiently and then agree that I had every right to be angry. Then they would gently guide me to the realization that all the justification in the world wasn’t going to change the situation. At some point I was just going to have to deal with it. I used to spend days processing my anger but last night it lasted for just an hour or two. Going back to those previous times spent with my sounding boards and the heart lessons I learned helped speed the process for me. Pain is a part of life. Suffering for days is optional.

If I’ve just experienced an earthquake in my life, I know that it will be followed by a Tsunami of emotion. I have choices to prepare myself. I can go as far as possible inland (hiding) but how far is enough? Or I can lash myself down to a building (beliefs on how life should be, black and white thinking). What happens if the building caves, will I go with it? Or I anchor myself down in the water (with previous memories/emotions), knowing that I will get tossed and tumbled but my chances of riding it out and making it through with less damage is greater this way.

I wonder what anchors you’re putting in place. Could it be that lunch with friends where you laugh at how crazy your lives are (support)? Might it be watching the guy in front of you at the stop light sing and dance outrageously in his car (joy)? The pretty picture your toddler colored for you-on the wall, in the front hallway using permanent marker (love). That one perfect sunset when you were on vacation several years ago (peace, tranquility). Or walking through Cottonwood seeds as if it were snowing in May (awe). I wonder what anchor you’re creating right now.

If you are ready to make life-lasting trance-formations call (636) 699-7791. Or for more info go to www.fergusonhypnotherapy.com

Ferguson & Associates Hypnotherapy
2451 Executive Drive
Suite 107
St. Charles, MO 63303

                                                 Receiving Abundance

How well do you receive? Let's start with compliments. If I were to say, "You look great today" your reply could be "thanks, I feel great" or "that's surprising, considering everything I have going on". How about, "you did that job really well". Would you say, "Thanks, I really love my career" or "my part was just a small one". And let's up the stakes some. How well do you receive help when it's offered? "I can see you're having some difficulties with____. Can I help?" Do you choose, "thank you, I didn't know what I was going to do" or "no, no, I've got it".

If you don't have the abundance and prosperity in your life right now, abundance that benefits you, you may be a poor receiver. This doesn't just apply to our financial situations. How are your family/intimate relationships, how well is school/career going, what about those projects around the house? Some of us are just more comfortable giving than receiving. Notice I didn't say "giving and taking", I said receiving. We have all been around others who took more than their fair share. Maybe it left us with an imprint that receiving can be selfish, when it's the taking out of turn that should get the bad rap. Could we view receiving as a way to humble ourselves in the eyes of others (evident when we accept a compliment with negativity)? Compliments can be seen as beautiful flowers. If someone offered you a lightly fragranced blossom, would you turn it away saying, "No, I'm not good enough for it"? Can you see how the offering of the blossom to you has as much beauty for the giver as the receiver?

Then there is the big one, the receiving of assistance. Do you feel weak, as though you shouldn't need anyone else? Think back to the last time you offered someone help. Didn't it feel good, that you were in a position to give a hand up (not a hand out) to someone who needed it? So, someone offering you help now, could it be just as much for them, helping them to feel good, as it is about you?

There is a difference between receiving and allowing in our lives. One definition of allowing is to permit it, to let it happen. For example, I allowed her to come in late. This designates some control in the situation. I'm placing some conditions on it. Is this how you're treating the abundance and prosperity in your life? Receiving is to take in. An example; I have a client who owes me a fee that has not paid it. When I use her place of business, she always tries to give me a discount. The last time I told her stop, all I want is for her to pay the fee she owes. Boy, that's poor receiving. What I'm telling my abundance and prosperity is "I'll give you the conditions for coming into my life". Why not receive the discount and the possibility of her repaying me. If she doesn't, I'll at least have the discount. But I was afraid that if I "allowed" her to give me the discount, she wouldn't need to feel the debt should be repaid. Why can't I be open to receiving both?

We get what we are open to. Are you open to your abundance and prosperity coming into your life without conditions, letting yourself just take it in as it comes? Or, do you place conditions on it, just as you do with compliments you receive? What areas of your life would benefit from more receiving and less allowing?

The choice is always yours. And, may I say, you look lovely today.

Poop or purpose; you pick

You’ve seen it happen before…2 huge piles of poop (in the form of bad life happenings) dump on 2 unsuspecting people. The first person rises from the steaming pile, sputters and let’s out a scream, “What has life got against me! First, my partner leaves me, then I get fired and now my cat ran away. What have I done to deserve this crud?” Then we have our second participant. She too rises from the mound of mayhem, sputters and lets out a whoop of triumph, “Wow! I have clients who need fertilizer. All I need to do is figure out how to package it so I can sell it.” (Really, think about it…most self help authors are the ones who’ve had the poop piled on, figured out away to turn it from poop to prosperity and then packaged it to sell to us.)

So, what’s the difference between Miss “the-world’s-against-me-and-this-proves-it” and Miss “put-on-the-big-girl-panties-and-deal-with-it”? Why will one see it as an obstacle blocking their progress and the other views it as a challenge to bring out her best? What transforms a failure into a crowning feat, situations from pointless to prosperous, or a malfunctioning life to a life of magnificence? It all in how we use our pooper scooper; that part of our mind that filters our experiences and then deposits the results either into one of 2 piles, life is either for me or against me. You may have been living with the stench and magnitude of one pile but you can learn how to compost it and use it as nourishment in your garden of life.

To start life composting, follow these steps:

Place your compost pile away from & down wind from the house. In other words, decide that when you have a less that wonderful life experience, you are not going to let it invade the other areas of your life. Your boss bellows at you (maybe she was right, maybe not) and now you’re in a bad mood at work, at home, or even out with the girls that night. You’ve decided to haul around that poop, polluting every thing that you do. Instead, deposit it into your mental compost bin.

Lightly water your pile, not too wet or too dry. This means express your self without explosions. When something challenging happens it can take us a day or two to work through it. When a crisis hits, it can take up to 3 days to comprehend everything that it means. During these times allow yourself to vent, cry, rant, rave, whatever you need to do to let go. Remember though, you do it at the compost bin. So, if the tears begin to well up in the middle of your board meeting, just quietly remind yourself, “Not now. Tonight, when we get home, we’ll spend 10 minutes at the compost bin watering our waste.”

Finally, to make sure your life’s poop (experiences) recycles into an excellent soil (life) conditioner, you want to turn your compost pile often. This is done by getting out and experiencing life; the good, the bad and the mediocre. What this accomplishes is twofold. A compost pile that is not properly turned can get stinky and so can you, if you sit around ruminating on how life has done you wrong. Turning your pile in the form of new life experiences also accelerates the decomposition process. In other words, your mind learns from new experiences and then transfers those new abilities to your next set of challenges, helping you move through them quicker and easier.

So, it is up to you to take life’s poop and turn it into a purposeful plan to enhance your life. Or you can just sit there stinking up the place with your same old thoughts, emotions and actions…would you just please sit down wind from me, please. Thank you!

    Why teach it if we could charge for it?

Concerning our Self Hypnosis Intensive weekend, people ask us, “why do you teach someone to do what you do, what you get paid for, aren’t you taking money out of your own pocket?” The answer to this is yes and it is okay!

To truly answer this though, is to understand why we became Hypnotist’s. In our previous careers, both Dawn and I have made a great living helping people make buying decisions that improved the quality of their life. In doing this, we became students of human behavior. For us, knowing the how’s and why’s behind our clients buying decision, allowed us to assist them in an easy and relaxed manner, making sure that we were meeting their needs. This knowledge made us more effective in working with others, whether it was our clients, our team members, even our family and friends.

Becoming Hypnotist’s was a natural step for us because both of us believe that life is a lot more interesting if lived from a position of power, and we wanted to reveal that inherent power to our clients. In other words, helping them to realize they possess everything they need to achieve their dreams. But we feel that in today’s society, people experience a life of learned helplessness because that is what they are taught. We know this from a very personal level since both of us had lived parts of our past as victims. First hand, we know what it is like to skulk through life with a black cloud over us crying “why me”. Sometime before we met, we went through a change, a metamorphosis.

For me this metamorphosis was to stop a behavior that was demeaning and humiliating and was running my life. It had power, not me. Since I was the one who gave it that power, I should be able to take that power back. Someone said to me “stop doing that, and change your whole life”. So I did. I stopped the behavior; put myself in the hands of something that could restore me, and son of a gun, found a way to start living again instead of suffering! The lovely and talented Dawn had a similar experience.

How do you do this for yourself? First, you find the way to tap into the real you, that authentic light that brightens your world as well as the world of others. Second, you develop a compassion for the part of you that has been acting out (it was doing the best it could with what it had learned) and release this unwanted habit and pattern. Third, because the mind will not tolerate a void, you put into place your new life enhancing pattern.   And finally, you celebrate your Success. We found that Hypnosis offers a very rapid path for this to take place, sometimes with just one session!

What’s waiting for you within that light that you hold within… love, peace, tranquility, serenity and joy? The ability to be the healthiest you possible, asking for what you’re worth and getting it, turning fear of the unknown into excitement of a worthy challenge? Is it time to move from suffering to a life empowered?

We consistently look for ways to pass this knowledge forward not because this is our job, but because it is our calling. This is why we would rather empower you than having you rely on us. We do this through private session for all types of life challenges, classes designed to help your help yourself and yes, Self-Hypnosis to achieve, on your own, whatever your heart desires!

Your 4 Steps of Transformation await you; Reveal, Release, Relearn and Rejoice. You can do this, we Believe in You!

                                  How to Decide to Say Yes?

You experience dozens of opportunities every single day. Should you help out at your son's school, should you visit your daughter this weekend at college, what about saying yes to the extra hours in building your business? Then there is that new business workshop you've been thinking about signing up for, and what about the volunteer committee at church that needs help…How do you know when to say yes and when to say no?

We would like to share with you a simple four step process that can take you from confusion to clarity when faced with multiple opportunities.

1. Is this opportunity something YOU want to do?

In your past you have said yes to a request because you felt your compliance was expected. Say yes when you really mean no and your subconscious mind will dismiss it. Say yes twice and your subconscious mind begins to pay attention. Three times and you are beginning to establish a habit and pattern of supporting others at your expense.

It's time to begin a new habit and pattern that supports you and your success. Say Yes to You!

2. Is this opportunity in alignment with your primary goals and values?

Many times you can be faced with 2 opportunities that actually seem to oppose each other; working extra weekend hours because business is hot right now versus helping a friend move. Knowing your top 3 values and their corresponding goals for this time in your life can rapidly clear up confusion on what is important to YOU (remember rule #1).

Values are simply emotional states where, when you experience them, you are at your very best. Your goals are the benefits you receive by living your values. It’s time for you to grow into your goals and become the person you were intended to be. So, when faced with 2 opportunities, which one supports you at your very best?

It’s time to say “Yes” to what You Desire!

3. Will others be unhappy with your decision because it is asking them to grow also?

There is a difference with saying yes to an opportunity that encompasses growth for all, and one that takes away the rights of others. Not everyone will appreciate your answer of “No, I can’t do that”, and that is going to have you feeling uncomfortable. Keep in mind your level of success is dependent on how comfortable you are with being uncomfortable.

The other people involved or impacted by your decision would rather stay where they are than risk the change that growth can bring. Growth means stepping out into the unknown and the possibility of failure, and no one wants to fail. One of the biggest differences between people who have achieved success and those who haven’t; successful people fail faster.

How fast can you fail and get it out of the way?

4. First the decision, then the how.

Many people feel that before they can say yes to an opportunity, they have to have it “all figured out” on how they will accomplish it. But that is not how your brain works!

There is a part of your mind known as the Reticular Activating System (RAS). The function of your RAS is to notice the “how can I make this happen” once you’ve made a decision. That is THE KEY; it only figures out the how once you’ve made the decision of “yes”.

So, make your decision of “Yes” to you so that the how will now show up.

Constructive Criticism

By its very nature, constructive criticism is a lie. Why? Because there's nothing constructive about it.Whereas feedback is welcome because it is presented in a way that allows you to focus on the actions you can improve, constructive criticism, instead, focuses on what's wrong with YOU.

This sets off the fight or flight mechanism. You can either rapidly descend into the people pleasing mode, rushing in to actions to make them feel better, but that is not necessarily the best for you. Or, you can become defiant, questioning just who the heck they think they are when their message might really need to be heard.

My old reactionary response was to switch rapidly between the two. Talk about being on the hamster wheel; a lot of energy expended yet I really never got anywhere.

So what is it that you can do whenever you're faced with constructive criticism? How do you know if you should really listen to the message or just dump the messenger? Well, here's a three step process to help put you back in control.

1. Separate the message from the messenger.
You were going to need to choose your analyzation skills to begin this process. But if you're all wrapped up in negative emotions about the messenger and the way they delivered the message, then you're going to miss the potential for growth.

2. The message:
Take the message and reformat it as if it were you delivering it to someone else as feedback. How would you phrase it in a way that the other person was willing to hear what you had to say? Now direct at feedback at yourself and see if there is any validity to that message. If the answer is yes, then what actions do you need to up-level? If the answer is no, what must you do about the messenger?

3. The messenger:
There are people in your life who thrive on making others wrong, bringing them down to a lower level, and just generally being a pain in the butt. I call them energy vampires because they thrive off of the hurt emotions they create whenever delivering their message of, “I'm just telling you this you for your own good”.

If it is a family member, a coworker, or someone else where you have limited choices on whether or not you are exposed to them, then I suggest you reach out for conflict resolution coaching.

Let's say that you have a choice whether to expose yourself to this person or not. Maybe there a potential client, a vendor, a person you've met at a networking event, or even a friend. Now it is with in your power to choose whether or not you will continue to endure destructive criticism. As for me, I realize I am the sum total of the five people I spend the most time with. I choose carefully to make sure they are the ones that support me and my success. I will not tolerate anything less.

What about you? What constructive criticism have you received that you can turn into a gem of valuable feedback? And who is it that you need to release because it's just too much negativity to be around them?

Are we there (to Success) yet?

The excitement was reaching a fevered pitch. The four of us kids were piled into the back of my parents land yacht, embarking on our bi-yearly road trip vacation! Bouncing up and down in the back seat (because there were no seatbelts in those days to keep us pinned down), kicking the seat in front of us and in unison chanting" are we there yet, how much longer, are we there yet, how much longer". All of this and we hadn't even pulled out of the driveway yet.

“Am I there yet (to success)? How much longer?" This is what I heard just last week from one of my coaching clients. We may be all grown up now, but there is a part of us that still wants to know how long our journey is going to take. Here's the difference; when we were young we were given answers on how long the trip was going to be, but we didn't understand those answers. Now that we are an adult we would understand the answer, but it's a challenge to find someone to tell us how long it's going to take.

We're going to help you with that today. There is a proven science of; the length of time you will try to talk yourself out of a new goal, the amount of days that you need to take continuous action to move through your resistance and how long you must persist at your goal before you begin reaping your results. Today we are going to give you the outline on “Am I there yet…How much longer to Success?”

This is an excerpt from our free mini e-book" 3 simple steps to more Health, Wealth, and Happiness habits in your life". If you would like your own full copy of this mini e-book just go here http://bit.ly/93zsuC

Here is your excerpt from our free mini e-book," 3 simple steps to more Health, Wealth, and Happiness Habits in Your Life";

91 Days: One quarter of one of your year is how long it takes for a habit to go from conscious thought to subconscious habit. 91 days is how long it takes to go from a foot path through the woods in your mind to a super highway moving creativity, ideas, achievement and results at high velocity. Highways are only established though, when there is a need for them, when traffic has become so crowded that your Success needs new ways of traveling from home, out into the world and back again. How to do this? Read on to…

Chunk it correctly:What is the most manageable step you can break your goal down into? That’s right, how low can you go (this works for doing the limbo, too).   Are looking to get into shape?     How about 1 minute of physical exercise like walking, per day? Wanting a new career; send out one resume per day. Desiring a slimmer waistline, eat healthy for one meal per day. You can always do more, but it needs to be at your minimum of one per day. Yes, we can hear your moans and groans that you’ve read all this way to find this strange advice. Surely this won’t work, you say?   Yes it will and our name is not “Surely”.

Remember, we are hypnotists and our specialty is how your mind works (either for you or against you). You have 2 parts to your mind. To keep this lengthy report short (wow, you got a whole bunch for free, didn’t you) here is a simple explanation. You have your conscious mind, also known as your ego or personality. Its job is to analyze everything in your life and keep you safe. It’s the part of you that keeps you from stepping off the curb into the oncoming path of the Bi-state bus. It’s also the part of you that has you quit on a new habit just a few days into it, if you even start it at all. Why would it do this to you? Because failure is not safe, so you are better not to try it at all.

Then there is your subconscious mind. It does not judge or analyze, it doesn’t need to because that is the realm of your conscious mind. Instead it works just like a computer asking what program you want to run today. And then it runs it. So, we need to set your new daily habits at a level low enough that the “warning Will Robinson, warning” failure mode is not set off in your conscious mind. Plus, your subconscious now says; run the healthy us program, and it will use your inherent creativity to find other ways to add to your Success.

We also promised you a way to keep motivated during those times of “I don’t want to get off the couch and do anything, especially that” days.

Ask yourself, what emotion does my goal stand for? Do I want to achieve prosperity because not getting phone calls from bill collectors brings me a great inner peace? So peace is really it, right? Or what about that hot new body…maybe you want to feel sexy again or maybe feel sexy for the first time. Sexy is what you desire, right?

Whatever your emotion is, ask yourself on a daily basis, how can I have more of this now, today? This way you are not limiting yourself so that the only way you will feel peaceful and sexy is with money and great curves (although both do help). Making sure that your emotional needs are being met is what keeps you inspired to rise up off that couch and achieve!

(Another barefaced commercial…since we are hypnotists it seems only fitting that we mention your option for a Private Hypnosis Session. Hypnosis can dramatically shorten your 91 day learning curve down to as little as one session and keep you motivated to keep achieving.

Whether in person, or on the phone, Hypnosis will help! Call us at (636) 699-7791.) Remember, Success is a Habit…Let’s make it Your Habit!
Dawn & Drew

Anyone over the age of 35 should read this; I copied it from a friend’s status on Facebook, original author unknown.

Checking out at the supermarket recently, the young cashier suggested I should bring my own bags because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment. I apologized and explained, “We didn’t have this green thing back in my earlier days“. The clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment for future generations“.

She was right about one thing–our generation didn’t have the green thing in “Our” day. So what did we have back then? After some reflection and soul-searching on “Our” day, here’s what I remembered we did have….

Back then, we returned milk bottles, pop bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles repeatedly. So they really were recycled. But we didn’t have the green thing back in our day.

We walked up stairs, because we didn’t have an escalator in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn’t climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks. But she was right. We didn’t have the green thing in our day.

Back then, we washed the baby’s nappies because we didn’t have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 240 volts — wind and solar power really did dry our clothes back in our early days. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters, not always brand-new clothing. But that young lady is right. We didn’t have the green thing back in our day.

Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house — not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of Wales. In the kitchen, we blended & stirred by hand because we didn’t have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail, we used wadded up old newspapers to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

Back then, we didn’t fire up an engine and burn petrol just to cut the lawn. We used a push mower that ran on human power. We exercised by working so we didn’t need to go to a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity. But she’s right. We didn’t have the green thing back then.

We drank from a water fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle every time we had a drink of water. We refilled writing pens with ink instead of buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor instead of throwing away the whole razor just because the blade got dull. But we didn’t have the green thing back then.

Back then, people took the bus, and kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning their mums into a 24-hour taxi service. We had one electrical outlet in a room, not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances. And we didn’t need a computerized gadget to receive a signal beamed from satellites 2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

But isn’t it sad, the current generation laments how wasteful we old folks were just because we didn’t have the green thing back then?

This was obviously written by a Britt, but the same goes for us here in the States, maybe even more so.

By the way, am I the only one that remembers that the Environmental movement started here in the 60's?

              I Don’t Wanna Be Like Mike & the Hair Police
                                                By Dawn Ferguson, CH, CI

Branding; it’s one of the big buzz words in the biz world but just what is it? The best explanation I’ve heard so far, “it’s what people say about you when you’re not there”. Advertising is built around this way of thinking, employing big name stars that suggest that if we model what they do, we will be like them; at least this is what Cuba Gooding Jr. and Charlie Sheen are branding when they lust after Michael Jordan’s underwear. Politicians hire spin doctors to improve their brand, big corporations hire mega marketing companies and us smaller folk, (if the budget allows) will employ brand coaches or read the latest books and/or invest in workshops and classes to gain an edge. We may even go as far to seek the advice of friends and family. But how do we know if what we are receiving is a consultation to be considered or just another opinion that blows…how do we know if we really want to be like Mike?

I was recently at a networking event when I was approached with an opinion about my looks by two members of the Hair Police. Who are the Hair Police? They are women who have taken upon themselves to enforce the unwritten rules of hair etiquette to save you from yourself. Now, if you have not met me yet, let me give you a brief description about my hair; it is a little unconventional (hair past your shoulders when you are past 40 seems to be out of the norm), it’s a little unruly (curls and waves that have their own mind) and just like me it gets a little fuzzy when it rains. In other words, my hair is a direct reflection of my personality; my hair is part of my brand. It is how my children find me in a crowded room and how my clients describe me to soon-to-be-customers, “you know when you meet her…it’s the hair”.

The Hair Police had decided that it would be in my best interest if I would cut my hair, straighten it, and were even going to go as far as to tell me that they would take me to their stylist to take care of what was obviously wrong with me (that evidently I was too blinded by my unruly locks to see). So, how to decide if Mike and the Hair Police are singing a tune that you can follow?

My, my, my, my blue suede shoes…or, if the shoe doesn’t fit don’t wear it. The people who are doing the proposing; do they have what you want? Michael Jordan’s jingle is that certain parts won’t jangle in his underwear. For some of you that is really important and may warrant further consideration. Maybe they’re just pointing out the fact that you need to update your tune and throw out that 8-track (for those of you too young and asking what an 8-track is, I don’t want to hear it). In my case I decided that neither one of the Hair Police was singing a tune that I wanted to carry but, could it be remixed? So, on to step 2….
It has a great beat but can you dance to it? Before you discard anything, pause for a moment and think, “They like to square dance and my step is the Salsa. Is there a way that I could combine the two and make something new?” Sometimes we are so used to the same ol’ dance patterns, that when something new is offered we automatically reject it and then later complain that our creativity has been stagnated. Give yourself at least 24 hours to ponder before you decide that they are either playing your song or stepping on your toes. I had a business coach that advised me not to tell people what I do (I’m a Hypnotist) until they came in for their free consultation. Instead I was only to inform them of what they could achieve (success instead of failure) in the initial meet and greet. To me that was too much of a jive step. I decided that I was better off with a composition of “What can you Achieve because of what I do.” As far as the Hair Police were concerned, I decided that my locks did need a bit of taming. Then it’s on to step 3…
They may be a one hit wonder but how can you go Gold? You strike up the band and conduct what you believe is a new refrain; Think Big, Do Big, Be Big. People are going to notice you and want to sign you immediately. You’ll be an overnight success. But really it’s just the same old song and dance that’s been played down through the years. What’s the difference between a one hit wonder and going Gold? Thinking big yes, but doing small. It’s those small actions repeated over and over that will bring you the recognition you desire.
“I would advise you to keep your overhead down; avoid a major drug habit; play everyday, and take it in front of other people. They need to hear it, and you need them to hear it.” James Taylor. Did you get the part of playing everyday? That’s what will take you to the Gold.

How did I fine tune the pitch from the Hair Police? I still dance to my own song of being unconventional, unruly and a little frizzy but I decided that there was some truth under what they were telling me, so I get my locks tweaked every 3-4 weeks instead of 5-6. What about you…what’s your brand’s jingle…is it really about you or just another remix of someone else? Do you really want to be like Mike and the Hair Police?

2/1/12

Is a 25% Success rate good enough for you?

No, you may say, “I’m more of a 90-100% person”. Well, let’s take a look at what 25% really can represent.

Think over all the goals you have, maybe it’s only 10 or maybe it’s 100. Take a good look at the achievements you’ve set for yourself. So how would life be if right now, today, if 25% of those goals, rewards and achievements would become reality? Even though 25% may not sound like much, when you break it down that means 1 out of every 4 goals would happen. That’s 25 out of 100!

How might your life be changed in a profound way if just 25% of those goals would be yours?

This morning we were reviewing our goals from the last 3 quarters of the year.  We look at these goals on a weekly basis, reminding ourselves of what we are working towards. Some achievements are simpler, such as adding 1 new person each day to my online ezine list. Others are more complicated; raising the funds for our trip to Hawaii. Some goals require a bit of thought, like finding ways every day to enjoy the Paradise we live in.

We have yearly goals and quarterly achievements. We are heading into the first quarter of this year, so it is time to review where we are. This way we can adjust our action steps for the first quarter of the year. In reviewing our achievements for the year, we realized something spectacular. Out of the goals we are working towards, over 25% are now realities. The new car, 2 vacations within 5 months, our business up 20% (even in these tough economic times), a set date every month to enjoy an adventure with our friends, a strength training routine that is automatic, personal coaching by someone we have admired for over a year, being a contributing author to a new book being published this fall, money coming in fast and easier, and a renewed connection with a Spirit Rich Life.

How many of your goals have you achieved in the last 3 months? How might your life change if just 25% of your dreams turned into reality every quarter? But, do you even know what your goals are? Do you have them written down? What about a vision board? What are you doing on a weekly basis to remind yourself what it is you want in life?

You program yourself everyday by choosing what to focus on, telling yourself how that vision makes you feel and then experiencing the actions to either embrace that vision or to run away from it. Unfortunately, moving away from something painful is not the same as moving towards pleasure. Avoiding the negative in your life does not help you achieve a 25% Success rate, yet this is what most people do. Focusing on what you don’t want instead of what you do desire.

The next time you’re going through the ads, or a catalog, how about cutting out some of the things you would like in your life. Paste or tape them to a piece of paper and review occasionally. Day dream a bit and see yourself as if you’ve already achieved them. Maybe it’s that vacation to Scotland or a new dishwasher, the partner you’ve been looking for or improving the relationship you already have. See, feel and hear how your life is improved because of this becoming a reality for you. What you’re actually doing is programming your subconscious for success with this simple exercise. It’s time to give your mind something life enhancing to work with.

What goals you will achieve one quarter from now… what your 25% will be?

I am not here to tell you what you want to hear

"I am not here to tell you what you want to hear. Nor am I here to tell you what the truth is. No, my path is helping YOU to discover YOUR own truth." This is something that we try to convey to our clients and students. This is not always something people want to hear. Not for Linda, though. She's ready for her life to be the way she wants it.

Linda was in one of our classes, recently. It's a multi series with each class building on the one before it. In the previous class the students were asked to write down their story. Whatever or whoever was holding them back in life, get it all down on paper. "Write down the wrongs, the I-don't-haves, the anger and sadness. This is to be your story and the reasons why you are this way." We didn't inform the students why they were doing this, just that we would be using it for the next class. Linda was way ahead of us though. She already figured it out before she came in for the next class.

Linda wrote alright. She pointed the finger at all those who were keeping her from her dreams. All the reasons why she couldn't be the person she wanted to be and all the people who were responsible. She then tucked her story away for a couple of days and then decided to revisit it. She was aghast at what she read. How the blame fell to everyone but her. In doing this she had given up the power to change her life because she had assigned that power over to others. She realized that until she took responsibility for the way she was, and what she was doing she would not be able to make effective changes. She was always waiting for a Hero, a knight in shining armor to save her. Now she understood that everything that she needed to effect change was there all the time, right at her fingertips.

We are all like Linda. We spend so much time suffering the sling and arrows of outrageous fortune, when the answer to what we need is there before us, waiting for us to choose.

The exercise of writing down your story is a very worthwhile action. We suggest that you do it. Write your story out on paper, put it away for a few days, and bring it out for review in the light of day. I will warn you, though, to be the most effective, you must be brutally honest. Put down the first thing that comes to mind, and truly express on paper how it makes you feel. Put it away for at least three days. As a side note, if you are writing about someone who may be in your household, make sure that this document is very secure.

After three days, read what you have written and see if you recognize it. Our bet is that you, too, will be like Linda. You will now be free to make the changes that you desire because you will have discovered your own truth.

We wonder...what story will you tell in 2012...will it be the same old song that someone did you wrong...or will it be the tale of the Hero who discovered how strong they really were and rescued themselves? We wonder...

12/28/11

I’m Holding My breath till I get my way!

Sounds like something a child would say, doesn’t it? Yet this is a habit that so many of us do now. Think back to the last time you were stressed, the reason doesn’t matter. And if you’re like the majority of us, when the incident happened, you took in a deep breath…and then held it. This then successfully locks the strain we’re going through into our tissues and muscles. What, not you, is that what I hear you saying? What about all those tensed shoulders, sore backs and headaches?

Stress can hold us back in life and we’re not even realizing it. For example, you want to go somewhere in your car, so you put it into drive to move forward. You wouldn’t think of putting it in reverse to try to get to your destination. Yet many of us do this with life. We focus on past events, putting our energy into what’s already happened, and then wonder why we’re not moving forward and why our stress level is rising. Any time you find yourself saying, “can you believe what happened yesterday“, “I’m always treated like this” or “I’m always ____ (you fill in the blank-broke, mistreated, sad, etc), you’re putting your life into reverse and upping your stress levels.

You may be justified in your hurt, anger, rage, etc. but the only time you have is this moment. Do you really want to tie up your current energy dealing with a past event that you cannot change?

Living in past hurts or future maybes can raise our stress levels. So a simple technique we teach to our stressed clients is- breath. Do deep belly breaths that expand the body (and the mind). Let’s do one now. Breathing in through your nose gently till you feel your lower abdomen expand, then you should feel your upper stomach start to stick out, as your chest expands your stomach will actually start to flatten, now you feel your collarbones raise slightly. Hold for a second or two and then release the breath out through your mouth slowly.

Harvard Medical Clinic has proven that 7 of these deep breathes start the Mind-Body Relaxation Response (that even sounds good, doesn‘t it). And wow-you have all the FREE equipment you need to do this.

So the next time you stress-take a moment of respite for yourself and breathe. Success for the breathing practice is simple…some confuse easy with simple, though. The steps are simple but effort is required on your part to reach it. Aren’t you worth it?

Is stress more than an occasional challenge for you? Are you ready to replace reactions with choices? Reactions are based on past pain, choices are based on future impact. Hypnosis helps you make new choices, you do have the power within you for this. Hypnosis can help you breathe new life into old pain.

12/21/11

How Do You Feel Better When You Feel Bad?

It's been a long day. You had projects at work that didn't get completed, and you know they're going to play on your mind all weekend. There's grocery shopping to be done, the cleaning to be picked up and then your brother calls. Moms not feeling well again, but he can't be with her this weekend because he has tickets to the big game. Just one more thing on your list of being overwhelmed.

When we feel overwhelmed, overworked, and overstressed we have one of two ways of emotionally reacting; shutting down or shouting out. If you find yourself in the first group and you shut down, then you probably experience feelings of sadness or despair. You can get quiet and go within. Or maybe you find that you're in the second group. You are the one who can feel angry and irritated and you shout it out to the world or at least to those close to you.

But if you will look underneath these emotional reactions you'll discover exactly what it is you need to go from depleted to replenished. Try these two tips and discover for yourself more calm, peace, and control in your life.

Tip Number One; Your Emotions Are Just a Guide That You Need Something.

Have you ever noticed how often you judge your emotions as good or bad, positive or negative? Although none of us wants to experience more negativity in life, those so-called bad emotions are just telling you it's time to give yourself some extra self-care. Even though it may not feel good at the time, this is the only way your mind knows to get your attention that you need attention; with negative emotions. Yet many times, we will do anything to avoid feeling like that. If you find that you typically react by shutting down you look for ways to push down those feelings such as emotional over eating. Or if you shout out, you'll find ways to numb those feelings, too much TV, too much Internet. Stop judging and start noticing.

Tip Number Two; What You Feel Is What You Need. If you find you're in the group that shuts down, and goes within you are what I call a Replenisher. You're the type of person that needs nurturing, comfort and caring when things get to be too much. And this is one of your strengths, because nurturing and care it is exactly what you can give to others when they face challenges. Watch out though. You're in the group that can easily choose comfort in the way of food instead of comfort that brings well-being. You want to discover activities that have you feeling rested and refreshed.

Maybe you are the type of person that shouts out. If you are in this category I call you a Releaser. You're looking for ways to let go of the stress and tension that you are currently experiencing. When others need your help, you're the one that can be heard saying, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going!” And that's exactly what you do; you get others up and moving! But beware. You can easily fall into the trap of venting your emotions and leaving in your wake others that can feel damaged by your tirade. You will want to find healthy ways of releasing that help you stretch your body as well as your mind.

You may find that you can experience both shutting down and shouting out. There will be one coping mechanism that feels more secure for you. Now that you're aware, what is that you can do to moving from unhealthy reactions to healthy responses? How can you move from shutting down to replenishing? What actions do you need to take to go from shouting out to releasing?

Success is Habit...Lets make it Your Habit!

12/14/11

It’s “Holidaze” Time!

You will plan for the holiday parties both at work and home. You plan the gifts to give, and to who. You even plan on how to decorate the house. Why not plan for your “Holidaze” Break Down?

Let’s be honest; we both know that at some point, your dreams of how your Holidays should be, and cold hard reality are going to crash into each other. It might be something as small as being told you have to work late on the night of your child’s Holiday program, or as large as dealing with your brother’s drinking problem, your mom’s way of needling you, or the sister you could never measure up to staying at your house for the Holidays. So, let’s work together on a plan to minimize the body count and maximize your response time. Ready?

Step 1: For a plan to be effective, we need to know what we are planning for. Review the last 3 holidays and see where life fell apart for you. Focus on the situations that really caused you to doubt “Peace on Earth, Goodwill towards Man”. Jot down just a sentence or two about what happened, where it happened and who was involved. No need to write volumes about it, which will only tick you off all over again. Also, stay away from “why” questions, they have a tendency to keep you stuck in a state of victim hood.

Step 2: After writing about the occurrences that caused you grief, now it is time to categorize them. Many times when a client comes in for help, I’ll ask what seems to be the problem and they’ll reply ‘everything!”. Unfortunately for them, their subconscious takes everything at face value and if they verbally affirm everything is a problem then the subconscious makes sure that it is true. What we are looking for are the “symptoms” of the real “cause”.

Your categories are:
     a)      Physical; also known as the safety of your health and safety of your wealth; this is the domain of overeating,  not having your child picked up on time, overspending, or procrastinating. In other words not enough time, not enough money and too many calories.

     b)      Emotional; also doing business as your relationships and your career; this is where family members that push your buttons hang out, the boss pushing you into overtime, and in general, you not having healthy boundaries.

     c)      Mental; the level where your beliefs, and how you give back to the community live: this shows up as over committing to a great cause because you got wrapped up in the spirit of the season, or walking around saying “bah humbug” and thinking that maybe Scrooge wasn’t such a bad guy after all…just a little misunderstood.


Step 3: Now take a look at the one category that gives you the biggest challenge. This is the area you want to address this year. Yes, I know that the others will still be a problem but there is something you need to know about how your mind works. You can work on one area and be great, work on two and be just mediocre or try to work on three and your results suck (this is a technical Hypnotist term; please do not attempt to use outside of a clinical setting). Why set yourself up for failure (again) by trying to fix too much at once? Just pick one.

Step 4: Time to put your plan together or “What do you need when Frosty’s poop hits the snow blower?” If the physical level, feeling safe, is your primary challenge area, then what support can you put together? Maybe a friend can pick up your kids from daycare when the boss sabotages you with overtime? An accountability partner who keeps you health focused during those bust-your-diet-buffet-parties?

If it’s the emotional/relationship level; Do you need to univite yourself from some else’s company? (I love my first family AND will do whatever is needed to limit my exposure to them.) Can you set up a friend who will listen to15 minutes of your complaining so you feel that you are being heard and then, like the bartender who cuts off the next drink when you have had too many, stops you before you total out the season?

The mental/giving back level asks; what kind of leader are you? Do you inspire others by your giving or is it a low quality way of gaining importance and significance. Is the child in you still waiting for that pony that never showed up under the tree…only now it’s the expectation that others should be making you happy? What nourishes you physically, emotionally and mentally so when you begin to starve under the pressure, you can take a few minutes to feed you?

Step 5: How will you reward yourself? This is the area where many will fail because they think the results are the reward. Wrong! What if you were assigned a project at work, you did a fabulous job, even surprising yourself. Now it is payday but your check envelope is empty. When you confront your boss, her reply is that the completed project, done so well by you, is your paycheck. How long before you quit?

It is the same way with the part of you known as Motivation. It has quit on you in the past because there was no payday. Your reward should also correspond to the level that causes you a challenge. Physical; what soothes your body, a massage/manicure/pedicure? Emotional; what uplifts you, an evening out with your best friend?  Mental; what quiets your thoughts, a good book, movie?

Step 6: Some closing thoughts…Create an “I don’t do” list; this can be a must around this time of year. This way you are aware of what you say “yes” to habitually and then regret later. What is on my list? I don’t lend money to my kids, I don’t volunteer for more than one organization. I don’t say yes to a request immediately (I must have 24 hours to think it over and then blame someone else for me saying “no”, usually Drew), and if someone asks me face to face, I only answer over the phone, (it’s easier for me to weasel out that way. Hey, I’m honest; confrontation is not my strong suite, and will never be, so I deal with it best I can).

So, to wrap things up as pretty as a Holiday present; pick your area of challenge, plan your response and then reward yourself. If you need any assistance, your “Holidaze Elves” are here to help.

Dawn and Drew Ferguson.

12/7/11

HAPPY TRAILS TO YOU…

When was the last time you moved up and out of your comfort zone? Is the scenery in your valley beautiful, but you’re ready to see what the next peak has to offer? Do you want to start your climb to reach your goal, but you’re afraid you will fall? So was I.

Have you ever seen the Badlands of South Dakota? Their peaks and naked slopes are awe inspiring. And they are better experienced on foot instead of through a car window. So, when Drew and I visited there for vacation, I knew I wanted to explore this haunting place.

As soon as we entered the Badlands National Park we had several marked trails to choose from; the one marked “easy” had a boardwalk into the mounds and from there you self-explored. “Strenuous”, looked like something out of an old western with its cliff like ledge that wound around the peak. One slip on this trail and it was a several hundred foot fall to the boulders and jagged rocks below.

Although my heart sang out to push myself and go for broke on the advanced trail my mind countered with, “and just what will we break? An arm, leg, how about our back when we fall! No, we’ll stick with the beginner trail”. So that’s where I started and though an easy trail, it was still a striking journey. And like anything good in my life, once I’ve tasted a little, I want more.

Our next trek was an advanced trail known as Saddle Pass; it wound up the Badlands for a ¼ mile (at a heck of an angle) and allowed a view of the White River Valley up at its peak. I gave it my best, but I did not make it to the top. When I reached the point I could no longer stand even with the aid of my hiking pole, when I was having to crawl because the loose gravel was giving away under my feet, that’s when I stopped. Drew on the other hand was like the Big Horn Sheep that we saw. Sure footed and sure of himself he continued on, taking pictures to show me what I could not see.

As I sat waiting for Drew, I enjoyed my own vantage point. The vulture that had previously been circling over my head as I scrambled up the mountain side (I don’t think that’s a good sign when you’re climbing, being stalked by a vulture) was now eye level with me. I watched him glide on the wind currents, looking for his next meal and, hurray, I was not it! The cars that passed below looked so small, like something out of an old Godzilla movie.

Something was still missing. It was the sense of accomplishment I feel when I achieve what I set out to do. Even though I had gone past my mental limitations (my mind was screaming at me to stop a good 20 feet before I did), it still did not feel like enough! Over the next couple of days I stretched myself constantly. We traveled into the back country, where there are no trails, no markers and no other people for as far as you can see.

At the edge of the parking lot for the back country, where wilderness meets civilization, there is a small metal box perched on top of a 4’x4’ post. It holds a piece of paper that asks; name, what direction are you headed and then announces, “The Forestry Service will not look for you unless someone reports that you are missing”. So, Drew showed me how to get my bearings with my compass and we trekked on, meandering through this serene wilderness.

My skills increased with every outing. I learned how to move my hiking pole through prairie grass to ward off rattlesnakes, to turn my feet sideways to climb smaller mountain slopes and to pay attention to where I walked so that I didn’t step on a cactus. As my awareness expanded I found that I could keep an eye on the path and at the same time take in my surroundings and stay aware of developing weather (the tornado we watched form, land, pull up and reform was stunning).

On our last day I was ready. The Notch Trail, with its treacherous ledges and dramatic valley views called out to me and I answered. It is one of the most difficult physical and mental undertakings that I have accomplished. Although this attainment called out to me our very first day, I was not ready. I needed a plan of action to prepare me. What about you?

Find something that moves you. If you are not passionate about what you want to achieve then when things go from meandering to strenuous, you won’t even try.
Start easy. If the risk is too great in the beginning you’ll freeze. Like the deer caught in the headlights, the outcome can really hurt.
Stop and enjoy. You may not be at your peak yet, but the scenery has still changed from the valley you where living in. Give yourself permission to take a break and enjoy.
Increase your skills as often as possible.
There are potential risks in everything you do. Snake bites can happen out on the trail or when you are dealing with that back biting person (relative, co-worker, boss, you get the picture). Take necessary precautions and if you do get bit, have the first aid kit handy.
Keep doing, keep stretching, and keep reaching. If one path does not work, go for another. Never stop until you have developed yourself towards your goals attainment.
Drew and I hope to see you at the next trail’s peak.
…UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN.

SLOW DOWN TO GO FAST

As some of you know, I’ve been involved in amateur motor sports for most of my adult life. One of the things that we train on is the concept of “slow down to go fast”. Let me give some examples;

Squealing tires and smoke are great crowd pleasers, but are not the fastest way around a corner. Braking too late and understeering into the grass (or worse) is not the best line to take. Over throttling and breaking the rear tires loose? Another crowd pleaser, but not fast. Any time that you exceed the coefficient of grip you give up speed, and maybe the race. When we look at some of the greats in motor racing, it is the smooth ones that are consistently fast. Smooth can fool you, it looks slow, just gliding around the track, almost gracefully, does not appear fast but it is! These great drivers know when to go slow, and when to use the hammer. In motor racing, control is smooth, and smooth is success.

How about life? When should we go slow? When should we go fast? When is smooth better?

So when should we go slow? How about when we are not sure of the factors involved. Do you know the goal? Do you have a plan? Do you know the track (playing field)? I am not saying be over cautious, just well informed. In racing, we drivers walk the track so that we become so familiar with it that we can see it in our minds. We visualize the track and how we are going to navigate it to our advantage. We have a goal (winning), we formulate a strategy to achieve the goal, and we are able to visualize the success.A perfect time to go slow is when you enter a corner. My personal style is to brake in a straight line, late turn in on the apex of the corner, and use my momentum to pull through. Braking in a straight line keeps me stable and all four tires in full contact with the track. Late apex turning allows a little more speed with a little less steering input. This contributes to momentum which allows me to get back on the throttle sooner and harder so that I’m faster out of the turn and therefore faster on the straight. Got all that? I slow down a little sooner and under full control. I turn later allowing me to come out of the corner faster. And it is all very smooth. By the way, I tend to do most of my overtaking in the corners.

In life, starting a new project at work, or a new goal in your personal life, going slow at first allows us to make sure that we have a plan for our success. Prepare for the playing field and anticipate. I am a firm believer in “best case/worst case” preparation. If the results of my plan falls somewhere in between the best thing that can happen and the worst thing, then I’m happy. Be sure to visualize your race. See it in your minds eye. That is why we plan and prepare. See yourself winning the race. Do it over and over until it is expected. Remember, any goof can go fast in a straight line, but it takes preparation and skill to go fast in the twistys.

Now, it is time to go fast so go like hell and drive your best race, work your plan, be ready to adjust your strategy for the race, and when you finish, evaluate your result.

Human nature has us spending 68% of our time evaluating our failures, and 32% on our success. I will ask you to reverse that. Spend most of your time reliving your success until it becomes second nature for you, and you have a new habit/pattern that is for your greatest good. This creates a new pattern of success that is repeatable and sustainable. Even if the circumstances are completely different, you have a pattern of behavior that you can adapt to the new circumstance, and win again. This is how to be smooth. So, first we understand the dynamics of control, and how it affects the outcome.

Then we make a clear cut precise goal that is measurable.

Next we use visualization to condition our minds to achieve the goal, including all of the potential variables.

Then we race our race, not some one else’s.

We evaluate what worked, what didn’t, and spend the majority of this time on what did work so that we can repeat it.

Finally; EXPECT SUCCESS!

Oh, one more thing. Practice, practice, practice. You can prepare all you want, but without practice, you will never drive like a World Sports Car Champion.

Any questions or comments please address them to drew@fergusonhypnotherapy.com Or call 636-699-7791

Are you playing their song (AKA your 60 second Business Presentation)
“Joshua killed a thousand men with the jaw bone of an ass. The same number of sales are killed every day with the same weapon.” Anonymous

I’ve heard it called Transactional Pain, the Frustration Factor, Step-by-Step Solution, even the Pain/Pleasure Principle. It’s all the same thing for your client; they have a problem and they are looking for a solution. Are you it?

Many of us will meet most of our potential clients at some sort of networking event. Why? Because it’s faster to market to a group all at once than one person at a time. Let’s get started

So, you are at the event, now what? Well, for most of you there are only going to be 30-60 seconds to address your audience. Keep in mind, people buy because they know you, they like you and they trust you. You must meet at least the first 2 within 3-10 seconds of addressing them. Yet what do I hear again and again at these functions, “Hi, my name is ____ and I work for _____ and I’m looking for clients to do _____”.

Wait, where am I, the person who is in pain and wanting it to stop and stop NOW? All I am hearing is them, them, and them. I’ve already tuned them out. Remember the old commercial, this is your brain and this is your brain on drugs? Well, this is your sale and this is your sale going down the toilet…

If people buy because they know you and trust you, how do you accomplish this in just a few seconds? By making it all about them, all the time. The old sales adage; your clients are always listening to the radio station WIIFM (What’s In It For Me). Play their song and they will listen.

What is their song, what must you address to get their attention?

1. Solve a distinct problem they are facing now (or plant the seed that they will face it and when they do they come to you). This is not the time to be vague or generalize. They must feel as if you are speaking directly to them, as if no one else in the room matters. Think back to one of your favorite songs when you were a teenager; chances were you felt the performer knew exactly what you were going through. Sing that same way for your clients.

2. The solution to their problem must be fast acting and make their life easier. Now, we know that in reality there is going to be some effort on their part, and that the results they want may be farther down the road. Do not confuse the process with the client’s results. They want something they can do now, hence the fast acting. Taking action always has us feeling better, so help them experience that relief as soon as possible. Think the old commercial, ‘plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is”.

3. Simple to take action; talk to you today for an appointment, call this number for your consultation, go to this website to get your Free Report or even better, give me your business card and I will call you within 24 hours. The more complicated you make it; the less likely they are to take action.  How simple can you make it? ITunes has your song right now, no waiting…how can you be their ITune for the IPod of life?

You should know some numbers and keep in mind these are just averages: 3% of the public is looking for your specific service right now. Another 17% are interested but not in enough pain to take action yet. And it takes 12 contacts, on average, before someone will say yes to you (yet over 90% of all sales people quit on the fourth contact).

A well crafted message will help you up these “average” numbers to where your song can top the charts…just remember that your song is really all about them.

By the way, DJ Dawn is standing by to take your song requests...call her at (636) 699-7791...

Failure, a Surprising Symptom of Success

Wow, my past 10 months of this year has been filled with flops, disappointments and out right failures. As well as unprecedented, record-breaking Success! And I actually needed one to be my stepping stone to the other. Let me explain...

I launched a multi-month program this past spring. No one signed up (insert sad boo-boo face here). This same thing happened again just last month. In between the two failure-to-launch-programs was an event that I only filled to 20% capacity.

Add to the above the networking group I left because I wasn't getting any business, and double the amount of "no-I'm-not-interested-in-doing-business-with-you" and various "well that didn't work" scenarios and at times I felt frustrated, overwhelmed, and ready to give up. Yet this has been a year where I have shattered through almost every single sales record in my business. I have made more money in the last 10 months than I did in the previous 18 months!

When no one signed up for my program this past spring it caused me to reevaluate what I was offering. What I discovered is that when the economy gets tight people put their money where will make the greatest impact. So I then tailored a more cost effective and efficient offering, and it filled.

This fall when no one signed up for my program I was a bit stumped. I had changed the offering to match what my clients needed to invest in, but it needed more fine tuning. Again I tweaked, and got business.

The event that only filled to 20% revealed that my list at that time was not investing. So I changed my focus to adding fresh people to my list and my next event filled with in three days.

All of the no's that I've gotten are simply because I'm asking more people to do business with me. All of these flops lead to one thing; the only difference between someone who is a failure and someone who has achieved is the amount of times they are willing to risk the flops before they reach fulfillment.

Have you been frustrated, overwhelmed, and ready to give up? Let me share a 3-step process that I use to keep me moving and motivated to win. Let's see how these steps might help you move past failure and into fulfillment in your own life.

1. What will you focus on? You always have the decision of where you will put the spotlight of your focus; either on the pain of the situation, or the lesson learned from the pain. Which do you choose?

2. What story are you telling yourself? Whenever something of intense emotional nature happens to you, your mind will make up a story about why it happened. Is your story line one of, "bad things always happen to me" or "this is here to teach me something"? What plot will you continue to focus on (see number one) and play out in your life?

3. Are you tension avoiding or goal achieving with your actions? Whenever you find yourself in a situation that feels overwhelming, the tendency is to engage in activities that numb you out to what is going on. While that can feel okay in the short term, it leads to more pain the longer you avoid things.

Here is a bonus tip; goal achieving actions do not feel great while you're doing them because you have to face your fears and do something about them. Afterwards you can get a rush of feel-good endorphins for enlarging your comfort zone.

Where have you been putting the spotlight of your focus? What story has this resulted in? What actions has this led to? Are you using these three steps to keep you stuck and struggling with failure. Or are you changing your focus, your story and the steps you are taking for your success? What if that failure was simply a symptom of the Success yet to come?

Dawn

Are You an Expert?

I just love working with people who know what they're doing. You can be the sales associate at Target who tells me where they've hidden the coffee after the store recently changed their layout, the customer service rep at the insurance agency that made sure my claim went through smoothly, all the way to my 7-Figure business coach who is guiding my business and me to the next level.

If it is neither your title nor your position that determines if you are perceived as an expert or specialist, then what has us seeing you as the go-to person? It's the way you take charge of situations. Let me give you a simple example.

A fellow businessperson wants me to take a look at their line of healthy living products. Okay, I'm interested. She calls me and leaves me a voicemail concerning appointment times. I call her back, leaving her a voicemail, with explicit instructions. I tell her what two days I'm available and the times. I also informed her that she will have a hard time reaching me personally because I'm with clients for the rest of the day. All I need her to do is to call me back and leave a message with the date and exact time of our meeting.

Instead of her taking charge, I got a long rambling voicemail that said, “well, we can meet at this time or that time and this person will be there at this time and that person will be there at another time …” Not what I asked for or what I was looking for. Because I know how the mind does one thing it will do most things, my concern is that if this salesperson cannot handle setting a simple appointment, what's going to happen to my level of service if there is ever a problem with the products?

We all want to work with the person who can figure out problems. There are three simple steps that you can take that will set you up for success in this area.

1. Take charge of the situation. When your boss asks you what day you think the meeting should be held , be the one to make a decision and pick the date. If someone asked you a question you don't know the answer to, tell them you will find the person who does know the answer and you will be the one that gets that information back to them. The people who can make swift decisions, even if those decisions need to be changed at a future date, are perceived by others as leaders. Do others see you as a leader because you're the one making the decisions?

2. Tell people you are the expert and specialist. I remember calling my health insurance carrier with the question on an insurance payment. It was apparent from the very beginning that the person I was talking to wasn't going to be any help. So I hung up and called back. The next person I spoke with started our conversation by saying she was the one I needed to talk to and she would be the one to get things figured out. What is interesting is that she actually had to pass me off to a supervisor to get my questions answered because she did not have the needed information. But because of how she addressed my concerns from the very beginning I felt confident in her ability to send me to the right person. Are others confident in your abilities because you tell them you're the expert and specialist?

3. Turn the complex into something simple. The reason why someone is reaching out to you is because they can't figure out how to solve their problem. They are not looking to you to confuse things further. They simply want you to give them a simple solution. Now, we both know that sometimes things are not that easy, but you will be the hero if you can break it down to the one next step your client needs to take for their success. Are you the one others turn to because you take problems and turn them into simple solutions?

So how are you perceived by your clients, your coworkers, even your friends and family? Are you the one who is wishy-washy, talks in circles, and takes the complex and adds chaos to it? Or do you lead by decision, inspire confidence with your words, and give the next simple step for success?

Being perceived as an expert and specialist is simply a result of your habits and how you handle yourself in situations. In other words, success is a habit… Make it your habit.

Does Your Heart Hurt?

All of us have hurt at one time. Maybe it was an off the cuff remark by a friend that stung, or a deeper loss like that of a job. It may have been even deeper like the loss of a dream. Whatever it was, we all face these challenges on a daily basis.

There are stages that we go through in order to heal our hurts. Sometimes we go through these steps literally in seconds because our hurt is closer to the surface. Other times it may take us months, or even years, to work through the pain.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross conducted ground breaking psychological studies in the late 20th century on death and dying. Interesting you say, but how does that relate to you and your hurting heart…the 5 stages of dealing with death (that she identified) can be related to any loss that we suffer. Below are the 5 areas with a brief description of each.

My question to you-is there an area that you skip when dealing with loss, thereby not healing effectively? Is there an area where you are stuck? Can this give you hope to move on.

Stage 1: Denial and Isolation
“Oh no, this can’t be true, this can’t be happening”… These are some of the statements that begin this phase. Denial, it’s just not a river in Egypt…Not only does it show up in the first stage but, will also reappear any time during this healing process. This mind game serves a very important function. It’s a softener, a buffer between us and reality. Until we can gather our defenses to face what has just happened. We also may wildly swing between being upbeat and joyful, enjoying the company of others, to sadness, wanting to only be left alone.

Stage 2: Anger
“Why me”! This is said with all the resentment, venom and anger we can muster. We may even surprise ourselves how nasty we can be. We look at others who are oblivious to the pain in our lives and ask “am I not better than them”? “Have I not done everything right”? Then, “how dare they enjoy their life while I’m suffering!” We also may lash out at others without reason. All we know is that we are angry and someone must pay for this.

Stage 3: Bargaining
This is an attempt to postpone. We may say, “If I work even harder on _____, (fill in with your hurt) things will be ok”. It should be pointed out that what we are trying to delay has already happened.

Stage 4: Depression
This is when the true scope of our loss sets in. We no longer deny that anything has happened, nor are we angry or trying to bargain our way out. We face what has transpired, and the many ways it will now affect our life. We may experience either reactive depression that is directly related to what has happened, and/or preparatory depression, seeing how our loss will affect our life in the long run. With the former we may find we want to vocalize our feelings, with the latter we may go inward.

Stage 5: Acceptance
We have expressed our feelings; we have mourned our losses, present and future. We may feel worn out and spent, empty of feeling. We are not rejoicing at this stage, instead learning to cope with what has been taken away. We may become quiet and introspective.

Can all this lead to Hope? Yes! What makes the difference in your story is the meaning you attach to it. Can you find the way that all of this can lead you to a higher level? Your life can be enjoyed again, although at a different level than before, because you are at a different level. But will it be a higher level of understanding, or a low level of coping? The only person that can decide this is you.If you need our help, we are here…remember, we Believe in You.

Dawn & Drew

Time Famine

"Don't say you don't have enough time. You have exactly the same number of hours per day that were given to Helen Keller, Pasteur, Michelangelo, Mother Teresa, Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Jefferson, and Albert Einstein."
-- H. Jackson Brown

Wow, that quote is pretty powerful and well, I’d like to read the rest of this article but I got to go…my kids are screaming at each other…my husband is wanting to know where his clean underwear are…grandma’s made a mess on the floor, again…and why is that damn dog barking…oh my, there are some policemen at the door with my son…

STOP! It’s no wonder that we fail at the new goals we have set…we have no time for them. When your schedule is already jam-packed, when a trip to paradise is locking yourself in the bathroom for a few minutes (even then the kids, significant other and/or the dog still wants to know “what are you doing in there!”) just where do you think you’re going to put your new goal? So, let’s be honest about the whole thing and get rid of the “I’ve-tried-so-hard-and-I-can’t-do-it” guilt.

Use these steps below to decide if your goal is even possible right now. If it is, then go for it. If not, then wait till next quarter with the intention that you will find room and then go for it. If next quarter you still have not found the space, then it is truly just a dream and needs to be taken off your “I’ll Achieve List” and put in the file that says “maybe in my next life”.

1. Just how much time will your goal take? (but don’t get discouraged yet) For example, to become physically fit you’ll want to workout 30-40 minutes per day at least 4 days per week. To reach that sales goal you’ll need to talk to 10 people to get to one yes. To arrange for bail for your son you’ll want to talk to at least 5 bondsmen.

2. What is the smallest step you can break your goal into? Exercise for 1 minute per day? Make one extra sales call per day? Call one bondsmen per week (what’s the hurry; he’s not going any where). I know I can hear you now; one minute per day is not going to get me anywhere. Well, it’s more that you’re doing now, you’ve broken the cycle of inactivity (a body at rest tends to stay at rest, a body in motion tends to stay in motion). You’re doing it in such a fashion by taking such a small step that you will probably be able to find the time to do it.

3. What are you going to give up to make room for your 1 minute, 1 call, etc? Yeah, remember the schedule that is soooo tight you can’t even go to the bathroom by yourself. You don’t even have 1 minute to spare, so something’s got to go…you decide what it will be.

4. Take Action. Starting tomorrow, give up your old way of being to bring in the new. Once you have performed this new activity for 7 days, double it (2 minutes exercise, 2 phone calls, 2 bail guys, etc.) Just remember, now you have double the amount of time so that means double amount of the old out and the new in. Then double again for your third week.

5. After 21 days evaluate and celebrate. Look at what has worked, what hasn’t and capitalize on the things that moved your forward while leaving behind the things that didn’t. And find a way to pat you on the back, to reward yourself…no one wants to work for a ungrateful task master.

6. Call me to set your free consultation on how I can help you in this process. Oh, come on, you surely didn’t think I was going to do all the work in typing this out and not put in a plug for my services… (636) 699-7791.

The Rule of 72; Make it Work for You!

Do you know how long it takes you to let go of a bad habit such as mindlessly snacking all night in front of the TV? What about those crazy urges you get when you try to stop smoking; how long will those last? Remember when you got all excited about that home remodeling project...it wasn't that hard, yet after a few days your motivation and commitment fizzled. How come?

The rule of 72, make it work for you. No, I'm not talking about the finance rule of 72 that tells you how long it takes to accrue interest. Instead this is a mind rule; how long your interest will stay focused on a particular subject before it moves on to something else. That rule is 72 hours, that's right, 3 days and then you move on.

Let's explore how this works in life areas we would consider negative. You want to let go of a bad habit such as the snacking or smoking. It will take you 3 days (72 hours) of focused effort to get through this time. This is why hypnosis works so Great in these situations; we numb you out to any and all withdrawals during this time so its smooooth sailing for you.

What about the positive aspects of this. Go back to that project you lost interest in. Once you decided to do it, did you take longer than 72 hours before you acted? THAT'S IT! Your door of motivation will only stay open so long before it slams shut. So step through it with action before it closes.

Finally, a tip for those of you in sales (whether it's to the public or trying to sell your teenager on the fact of cleaning their room). When a client shows interest in your product, you have 72 hours to act or they will move on. Let me give you a quick example. I was at a business luncheon a month ago that was hosting a very interesting speaker. She told us at the beginning of her presentation not to take notes; she would e-mail them to us. Great...except that it is a month later and no notes. Based on what you now know about the rule of 72 you understand that she only had 3 days to contact me. Even if her notes were not ready to be e-mailed at that time, she could have dropped me a line (within the 3 days) telling me when they would be ready. I may still want the services she's selling, but you can be assured that I will purchase them from some one else. What business are you missing out on?

The rule of 72, make it work for you. If you need help with withdrawals or motivation during your 72 hour window of opportunity, call us. We are here to help.

Dawn

Ferguson & Associates Hypnotherapy

Discover Your Potential, Power & Your Success!

(636) 699-7791

success@fergusonhypnotherapy.com

http://www.fergusonhypnotherapy.com/

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6/7/2011

Poopin' in the Petunias

Nature has so many wondrous stories if we will stop long enough to listen. I discovered this as I was reclining in my backyard today after finishing my evening walk.

I asked out loud, “Nature, what would you like me to know right now?” As I was contemplating what might come through I noticed her. Our greyhound was taking a walk through the flower beds I had just planted. This is a box that my husband Drew built not too long ago and we are lovingly trying to coax the splendor of summer blooms to burst forth in the flowers we have planted. Tiny shoots are just starting to emerge and here she is, plodding along over the top of them and then pooping on the petunias.

What an analogy for my life sometimes. Here I am, trying to bring forth life in a project and somebody poops on it.

I started thinking about those times and what they have taught me. Hmmm….I learned that sometimes others excrement can be just the fertilizer I am looking for, the impetus for change. I remember the boss who told me I would never make a living as a Hypnotherapist, so I might as well just stay put where I was. Yes, that waste material did spurn me on to get out of that stinky situation. Then there was the family member battling a drug addiction. They needed to let go of what was polluting their life and to face the consequences. I learned I could be a support for them without being one to clean up the mess (the pooper scooper). Yes, these are just two in a long line of teachers for me in this area.

These instructors helped me to learn that sometimes you cannot stop people, places, and things from walking into your garden and smashing down the new growth. Yet, you still have control because what you can control is how long you permit them to stay in your garden. I am the one who possessed the final decision on whether or not I remained in my previous job. It was a garden that had bloomed beautiful for me but the ground was now overworked. It was time for me to move on to greener pastures. The family member with the addiction; it was time for them to move on to their own plot of ground where they could learn the principle of what you sow is what you reap.

Today, I am the one who has the power to yell at my dog to get the heck out of my garden. Or I can just sit there with my mouth open stating, “I cannot believe she is doing that”. Which one do you think protects my garden?

I wonder how your garden is doing? Can you sit quietly to discover who is doing the fertilizing? Is the fertilizer needed for your continued growth? Or is it just stinking up your current situation and you need to move them out of your garden. As I ponder these questions, nature is now telling me another tale as I watch 2 doves delighting in the mating dance. But that is a story for another day. I think I will go see what Drew is doing….

Dawn Ferguson,

Certified Hypnotist & Certified Instructor

Tue, June 7, 2011 | link

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